Yes... another post. (MFP)

I have diarreah of the brain, apparently.

A while back, probably a year ago, I was determined to run a 5K. Maybe it was two years ago ::shrug::... I've never been good with dates. Anyway, there is a couch to 5K training program that has podcasts you can listen to to tell you when to run and when to rest and all that jazz. I downloaded the first one to my mp3 player and TRIED to complete it this evening. I couldn't make it all the way through the 20 minute workout.

I went from not working out at all ever to working out every day. I guess I need to take a break, let my muscles rest. Well... my leg muscles anyway. I do plan to hit the gym tomorrow, but I'm gonna lay off the cardio and give my legs a little break. I need to work on my arms and my core.

Here are my concerns:

In the few days I have been trying to excercise and eat better, I have gained weight every day. I want to think it's water-weight, since I have gone from drinking very little fluid to lots and lots of water. My kidneys are slightly overloaded, and not sure what to do with themselves. This makes me want to throw up my hands and say "fuck it" (sorry dad). I know that the weight loss will come, and my husband keeps telling me not to weigh every day, that I'll drive myself crazy. I'm sure he's right, but that doesn't mean I'll listen. It's just hard to stay motivated when all I'm doing doesn't seem to actually be DOING anything.

With the insane amount of working out I plan to do: every single time I start on an excercise plan, I end up taking some kind of a break. I either get sick or tired and just want to take a day off- and a day turns to days, weeks, months, and back on the couch eating potato chips dipped in ranch dressing. I like how I feel when I work out. I love the way my muscles burn and ache the next day. The pain is so wholesome and cleansing. Let me clarify- I am not a masochist, cutter, or otherwise weirdo that gets pleasure from pain. I just enjoy the fruits of hard work. I love to sweat (but hate to be hot, isn't that weird?), I love to see things accomplished.

I doubt myself. I am working out hard enough? Long enough? Should I try a different diet plan? I love food, and the thought of calorie restriction makes me want to cry a little. When I put in my food diary stuff, it told me that if I keep going at the rate I'm going, I'd be down to 158 in 5 weeks or months- can't remember which, but it seemed like a long time without a lot of payoff. I'm not reading too much into the calorie counter though. I am sticking with WW, for now anyway, and I am going to see where this course of action takes me.

Hopefully the support of friends will keep me motivated. One can hope